Forgiveness Isn't Fair

Rebecca Sheridan
Sunday, September 24, 2023
Matthew 20:1-16

    Life isn’t fair, right?  I really don’t like that life lesson, or saying to my kids as often as I do these days!  But it’s true, life isn’t fair.  Can you think of a time when you learned the hard way that life isn’t fair?  As I mentioned last week, I come from a musical family, and I played trumpet in the college band.  For those of you who may not be familiar, in a group like an orchestra or band where there are several of the same instruments, it is an honor to be designated “principal” or “first chair.”  Who doesn’t like to be first, right?!  There was a girl a year older than I was who was an excellent player and was always first chair trumpet, but then came my senior year, and I was sure that even if I didn’t get first chair, I’d probably be second chair.  After the audition, I was shocked to discover this girl I really didn’t like who was a year younger than I was got first chair, and I was all the way down at fifth chair.  This girl was an average but not excellent trumpet player and something of the teacher’s pet, and I had a suspicion that she didn’t just have a “really good audition” as my band director explained it to us.  I had to sit the entire year playing the third trumpet part sulkily in my fifth chair position, my senior year, and hear her make all kinds of mistakes.  It didn’t help that she really gloated about being first chair.  Can you tell I haven’t quite gotten over it?!  What have you not quite gotten over, when you think about life not being fair? What resentments or grudges are we holding onto, having a hard time letting go of, where we need to ask Jesus to help us to let go and let God, and forgive?
    In listening to Jesus’ teachings on forgiveness, we’ve learned that forgiveness is never easy but always possible.  Forgiveness takes practice. And today is probably the most difficult lesson about forgiveness of all:  forgiveness isn’t fair.  Even though we tell our children all of the time that life isn’t fair, we DO try to be fair in most areas of life:  you invite friends over for dinner, the next time it’s their time to host.  You get a birthday present, you give a birthday present.  If you’re a parent with multiple siblings – you spend the same amount on Christmas presents, or give the same amount of candy to each child, etc.   We try to love our friends and family and even strangers by treating people with fairness, right?  So it can feel like God is not loving when we think about God not being fair.
As we look back at our first reading from Jonah as well as the gospel, we have two stories where our first reaction is probably, “Well, that isn’t fair!”  Why do people who work all day get paid the same as the ones who only work for a few hours?  And why does God so quickly forgive all of the sins of Nineveh, when they’ve done AWFUL things to the people of Israel?  Understand that for Jonah’s time, God asking him to go to Nineveh would be like asking Ukrainians to go to Russia today – and then forgive them as quickly and as easily as God does in this story of Jonah.  Why is it so easy for God to forgive, when Jonah rightfully has a lot of issues with the people of Nineveh getting off scot-free without consequences for what they’ve done?  What does it say about God’s forgiveness and mercy for us, that God is so willing to easily forgive what we have a hard time forgiving?  God’s forgiveness isn’t fair, and this is a radical, countercultural way of thinking for us to wrap our minds around.  We may not like it!  We may not want to forgive others as generously and extravagantly as God forgives.
    God knows we don’t like the idea that forgiveness isn’t fair.  Listen to God’s convicting questions to us both in the book of Jonah and in Matthew: “Should I not be concerned?”  “Is it right for you to be angry?”  “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me?”  “Are you envious because I am generous?”  Funny that our idea of fairness usually has something to do with what works out well for me.  If we get what we deserve, then fine; we quickly forget about ensuring fairness for the other guy.  But our scripture readings for today force us to ask hard questions about whether it is possible to truly forgive and be fair.  Forgiveness and fairness are not the same thing!  When we stop counting the cost – how many times we’ve forgiven, or who has given us what and what we owe others in return – when we stop keeping track and keeping score, then we can truly forgive.  When we recognize that it is actually not possible to even out the score and treat everyone equally, then we can lean into God’s forgiveness.  And here’s another thing;  when we let go of our need to be in control and distribute what we perceive to be the right or just thing and let God, THEN we can more fully forgive.  Knowing that God forgives when I can’t yet can help at least put me on a journey toward trying to forgive.
    So here’s a better question, maybe:  When have you been surprised – maybe even bowled over – by God’s forgiveness for a time when you did not get what you deserved?  When have you received something you didn’t earn – you just got it, as a gift, free of charge?  When were you like the laborers who only worked a few hours and yet got paid for the full day?  We have all received mercy and forgiveness when we didn’t deserve it; and those are the times that are probably better to focus on, rather than holding on bitterly to the times when we didn’t get what we wanted.  Jesus tells this parable to remind us that at the end of the day, whether you show up at the eleventh hour or work joyfully in God’s vineyard, the kingdom of God, from the time you’re young, we all have a place in the kingdom of heaven.  We all get more than we deserve – life eternal, the fullness of forgiveness, seeing Jesus face to face.  Isn’t that worth focusing on more than the petty ways we upset one another, grumble, get angry and envious because someone’s piece of the pie was bigger than mine?  Thanks be to God, God’s forgiveness isn’t fair, and we don’t get what we deserve. Rather in Christ, we receive the generous mercy of God, and in receiving, may we learn to also give forgiveness more generously.  Amen.